Currently Listening A Weapon Called the Word By The Levellers see related

Man, nostalgia is a bitch to deal with. I'm sitting here in the apartment doing history homework and writing a precis about obesity when all of a sudden I felt this emotion. It's nostalgic, but like I know something really good is about to happen, but with a twist of repression because I'm living in a goddamn river town surrounded by hippies.

First of all, I don't care that I'm writing this and not a precis. Seriously. I haven't written in my xanga in two months and I can pull an all-nighter because I took a nap and am tanked up on several cups of coffee. I'm not really sure what I want out of life anymore. It doesn't help because Louisville feels like limbo with the river flowing past it, and trains passing through it. I don't know. It's a weird place and I can't wait until this year is over and I can get the hell out.

Okay, I am fully aware that way worse things could happen. But why do I have to move my senior year? And on top of that, go to school for the first time my senior year? I just don't think it's really worth it. I mean, I've barely touched my cello this summer, my writing has gone to hell, I miss Taos and Columbus and select people who actually keep me moderately sane. Even though I'm learning a lot at school, I feel like I'm accomplishing absolutely nothing. What the fuck is up with that?

See, my original plan was: 1) get job 2) finish second draft of 'Exodus' 3) read David Copperfield, and 4) learn the rest of the D minor suit.

BUT OF COURSE NONE OF THAT IS HAPPENING. Graaaaaghrughalk. And ya know why? Because I dun gots ter be educated!!!! I feel so...common. But at the same time I've never felt snobbier. Or more paranoid. And I haven't had a really good goat moment in a long time.

WELL, GODDAMNIT.